Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Hummer anyone?


So I was driving to work this morning, and on one leg of my journey I drive through this nice residential neighborhood with these speed bumps to slow down traffic. I come to a stop sign, feeling more or less content with the brown sky and palm trees when a big ol' Hummer pulls out in front of me off the four way. I almost swallowed my own tongue when this rig of a car proceeded to make every effort to go AROUND the blippity boppity booby sized speed bumps! ITS A HUMMER! This is a automobile DESIGNED to go over, through, and ontop of all sorts of terrain....IT SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE A @#$%**!!!!ING SPEED BUMP! This guy was taking out garbage bins and small trees in an effort to save his shocks from a little "budda bum". For some reason, this filled me with rage and humour all at the same time. Its funny, but says so much about the sorry state of western culture all at the same time, that I thought I'd put the discussion out there on the blog. When you have to take your Hummer up on the sidewalk to avoid a speedbump, I feel like theres a confusion of priorities. Its like putting your baby in a box with a lion to keep her safe from the sun.

I hope we run out of gas soon. I won't be afraid to ride my bike to work then.
Cheers.

9 comments:

Paul said...

I won't mention a certain "wardrobe malfunction" because it's been beaten to death, but yeah, we Americans have our priorities hideously out of whack.

Skribbl said...

Hummers suck! Uh, wait, there's a joke in there somewhere. But in general, I agree with the whole Hummer BS. Now if there was an electric Hummer.....

countfunkula1 said...

You make me sick. Can't you see what a favor that Hummer driver is doing you and me and everyone else in Los Angeles. At a durable 7,213 lbs, and a thrifty 9.6 MPG, maybe, just maybe, this conscientious hero of the roads was just trying to give the byways of the City of Angels a much needed break. But no, you and your imported smugness have to throw your metric stones. I'll be right back...

Sorry, just had a good cry. No, no, I'm fine thanks...

Anyway, I say this to you good sir, on behalf of that brave man, ready to risk the rough and tumble shoulder of the road...

you're welcome.

warren said...

This kinda reminds me of when I was in NYC years ago...there was a 'lifestyles' segment on the Jersey local news about 'how to drive your SUV'. They then showed the newscaster out in Utah ripping around in a Hummer. What that had to do with getting around New York in a 4Runner was beyond on me at the time.

Now I know.

I think.

Doron Meir said...

I have a theory: the guy had been saving for this hummer thing all his life, and so he's been driving an old wreck of a 30 years old beetle which would easily be killed by a speed bump, and he just couldn't get rid of the habit of avoiding them...

A backup theory: the guy was a moron :)

the doodlers said...

Funny story and real nice sketch. I love the look in your eyes in the rear view mirror... Thanks for the slice of life in L.A.! -A

walleye said...

Mr. Count, you are correct sir and am an imbecile. That poor man was just trying to save the roads for the rest of us by using the pedestrian fairway for his convenience. The real problem with society, after all, isn't the fossil fuel consumption or the green house gas, but the pesky pedestrian. Clogging up our sidewalks and complaining about the brown air. I say no to a class war. I say, if you want to ride your $40,000 Automobile on a residential sidewalk....go ahead. If you want to listen to Rush, or the Black Eyed Peas...well go ahead too. Its your life not mine.
Thanks for steering me in the RIGHT direction.

Thanks the rest of y'all fer the comments.
Cheers.

Salma said...

i love this image, it reminds me of every traffic jam downtown where i'm trapped behind some behemoth of a car. oh hummers, how can you not love them? everytime i see one all i can think is napoleon complex x 10000.

countfunkula1 said...

Walleye, yes! Think about how we can save the roads if we all get extra wide hummers and start plowing down the pedestrians. They're all so smug, with their "look at me I'm walking, I'm saving the earth" crap. Walking is liberal propoganda! Save the hummers!